--> Am I Right or Self-righteous? | Art of Adversity

I’ve been thinking about moral high-ground lately.

How do I stand up for something with integrity and conviction without falling into the common trap of self-righteousness?

If I see some of my values as sacred, how far will I fight to preserve the integrity of those values? And at what point am I pushing my values on others? 

Big questions for today.

Studies show that when people see their values as “sacred,” they’re less likely to compromise and may even engage in actions they view as “virtuous violence” to defend these values. 

Alan Fiske’s research on this common aspect of conflict suggests that violence usually arises from a desire to correct perceived moral wrongs rather than from pure aggression or material motives. 

That’s an interesting fact. Most of the frustration, anger, and violence in the world isn’t really about power, money, or survival.

It’s about a need to be right

Just turn on the news. Everyone’s fighting for this and that. It’s a spectacle.

And I’d imagine you see yourself in this pattern once in a while too. I sure do.

Yet, that same primal drive, when focused on a purpose that really matters, can become an incredible source of strength, turning struggle into something closer to a quest.

It’s not new information that channeling your energy into something meaningful allows struggle to transform into a mission that energizes and empowers. 

But how do we know when is the fight worth fighting for? 

That’s where our instincts become nuanced and require some deeper exploration. 

Knowing whether you’re fighting for something far-sighted and meaningful or if you’re standing on the moral high ground requires a level of honest self-reflection that can be tough to reach. 

None of us are immune to slipping into self-justification. The key is to practice honest reflection. 

Just imagine if we could inspire others to do the same in the world…

Here are some questions to help assess where you stand. You can also use these as a kind of calibration to see where you and others in your orbit are acting from. 

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Can I accept different perspectives? 

A meaningful pursuit often allows room for different viewpoints, even if they challenge your own. In contrast, moral high ground tends to reject opposing perspectives outright. 

Ask yourself, “Am I open to listening, learning, and adapting my approach based on new information, or am I stuck in my own mindset?”

Flexibility and curiosity often indicate you’re championing for something real, while rigidity suggests it may be more about your ego.

Am I willing to evolve alongside the purpose? 

A meaningful pursuit will shape you as much as you shape it. It’s about growth, even if that means evolving your beliefs or letting go of certain stances as you gain perspective. 

On the other hand, fighting from a place of moral high ground often feels static, like a set of “rules” that you must defend without question.

Meaningful causes invite us to grow, learn, and expand. Is this pursuit helping you grow, or are you simply defending a fixed idea?

Am I driven by conviction or justification? 

There’s a difference between having a clear, heartfelt conviction and feeling a need to justify or prove something. Conviction doesn’t require constant validation from others, whereas moral high ground often seeks approval to validate one’s stance.

Notice if you’re continuously looking for ways to convince others (and maybe yourself) that your stance is “right” rather than focusing on the work itself.

Am I acting from a place of love or fear? 

Consider what’s really driving your actions. Are you motivated by a desire to uplift and positively impact others (love), or is there a fear of losing control, status, or certainty?

Purpose-driven actions are often rooted in love, compassion, and empathy, while moral high ground usually has roots in fear – fear of being wrong, losing face, or admitting to flaws…

With purpose driven by love, every challenge becomes part of a larger story – a story that connects us to something greater than ourselves and invites us to use our energy constructively.

Purposeful struggle turns that simmering frustration into a quest. It’s a shift that reminds us that while we may still feel the call of that ancient drive to survive, we can choose to channel it toward something that not only fulfills us but also makes a positive impact on those around us.

That’s part of how we take our instinct to simply survive, and turn it into an enduring sense of really living. 

Cheers,

Jeff Depatie

Chief Course Architect,

www.thespecialforcesexperience.com

Founder, www.artofadversity.com 

PS I really enjoy getting feedback and having side conversations sparked from these newsletters. If you want to chat, just shoot me an email. jeff@artofadversity.com