I’d imagine if you’re reading this right now, you hold freedom (or autonomy, flexibility, etc) as a top personal value.
But what is freedom, really?
We often live as if joy, happiness, and even freedom, are dependent on external sources—a vacation, good company, a loving partner, or a fulfilling job. Conversely, we also blame external circumstances for our miseries—ex’s, poor nutrition, political systems.
Both of those examples leave us primed for the victim mindset which stands in stark opposition to our personal sense of freedom.
Freedom is a state of mind, not a circumstance so if you’re feeling trapped, this is important to look at.
If your joy and your sorrows are dependent on what’s going on in a world you have no control over, that is the definition of being a victim. But it’s nothing to be ashamed of. This mindset is deeply ingrained in our culture and challenging to overcome.
This gives more context to the idea that “freedom isn’t free”. Tell me your values, and I’ll tell you your struggles.
To earnestly hold this value in high esteem requires efforts and significant sacrifices of beliefs and thought-forms that keep you in an illusion of safety and trapped by the victim mindset, the poison of freedom.
Victim mentality is a universal aspect of the human experience. It’s rooted in our evolutionary development, it stems from our neo-cortex, and it does have a purpose in allowing us to experience the drama of life. We can’t discount that it makes things at least interesting. But to really feel free, you need to transcend this state of mind, or at the very least acknowledge its existence.
It expresses itself in our lives in two primary ways:
- Internal Complaints: This involves a pessimistic inward experience of habitually feeling inadequate compared to others—too fat, too poor, too tired.
- External Blame: Negativity is directed outward—blaming family traditions, traumas, politics, or media for your problems.
And while I will be the first to say that it’s important to externally stand for what needs to be stood for and internally, to “man up” and ignore the emotions that are coming up – that’s a very old, outdated, and depressingly dangerous way to live… I will say there are times when we do need to cowboy up and realize when we are simply playing the victim.
Being the victim of circumstance is easy to justify, it feels righteous to be the poor orphan underdog, and it’s more normalized to look outside of ourselves for reasons we’re not free.
Consider what an honourable thing it is to take full responsibility for our situations.
Remember this schema?
Our beliefs about our victimized place in the world affects what we pay attention to which reinforces those limiting beliefs.
True freedom is about realizing how much your beliefs victimize you and being brave enough to attempt to see your circumstances differently.
Today can be seen as a collective independence day if we can all reflect on the concept of freedom, especially considering how the victim mentality might be holding each of us back from one of the greatest feelings in the world.
Thank you for reading.
If you find this topic resonating with you, feel free to share your thoughts or ask questions by reaching out to me.
Have a wonderful 4th, and remember, freedom is a journey worth embarking on and the best part is you don’t have to wait for anyone else to give it to you.
Cheers,
Jeff Depatie